Long time lurker, finally decided to post my own LNM.

I was maybe 22 years old and taking the bus home in a major city. The bus was pretty packed, so I didn’t think anything of it when some guy sat down in the empty seat next to me. He had long, kinda greasy black hair and I could smell alcohol on him as soon as he sat down. He didn’t look much older than me.

I had my head phones in and was on my phone, but he immediately starts talking to me.

“Do you have Instagram?”

I make a show of pulling out my ear phones, hoping he’ll get the hint that I’m not looking to chat. I told him I didn’t, which was a lie.

“Yes you do, I can see the app right there,” he says, and taps his finger on the very visible Instagram icon on the screen of my phone. I’m immediately embarrassed that he caught me in such an obvious lie, and I blame that feeling for the incredibly stupid way I proceeded to handle this guy.

He starts telling me to add him, explaining that he’s a famous rapper and skateboarder and insisting that I’d love his videos. He then tells me that I can look him up by his name, Taylor Swift.

“You mean like the singer?” I ask him.

He glares at me and just says “No, not like the singer.” Uh, ok…

Getting really freaked out, I tell him that I don’t really go on Instagram much but I’d look into adding him when I got home.

He then GRABS MY PHONE OUT OF MY HANDS and proceeds to open up my Instagram account, look himself up, and add himself as my friend. All while continuing to rant about his rap career.

At this point I’m really worried that this guy is insane, and I’m just trying to be as nice as possible in case he turns out to be violent. I’m sitting in the window seat, so he’s blocking my ability to get up and move. Still, looking back I wish I’d started some drama when he took my phone.

He then hands my phone back to me and asks for my phone number. I, stupidly too intimidated from getting caught in my last lie, give him my real one. I then insist that the upcoming stop was my own (it wasn’t) and exit the bus.

For the next few weeks, this guy calls me and leaves voicemails of his terrible, nonsensical raps. I mostly laugh them off, showing the voicemails to some of my friends and joking about how I met Taylor Swift the Rapper. He also keeps adding me to these group texts in which he asks if anyone wants to meet him where he’s at and then all the replies are from people saying things like “Dude I don’t even know you stop adding me to these group texts”.

Maybe a month or two after this encounter, my roommate comes home and tells me she has some news. She works for a yoga studio, and one of her clients (another 20-something woman living in our neighborhood) approached her to warn her about a local creep that had been harassing a friend of hers. Apparently this guy had fixated on her friend after meeting her randomly on the street, and started stalking her. Her friend had to get the police involved after this creep shoved a letter for her through the mail slot into her apartment, and the letter was full of nonsense and threats to find her and hurt her. As I’m sure you’ve all guessed already, this weirdo referred to himself as Taylor Swift.

Mr Swift was caught by the police a few days later. He turned out to be a homeless guy who really had legally changed his name to Taylor Swift. He also turned out to be in violation of his probation, as he was a convicted rapist who moved to our state without registering as a sex offender. After he was caught the police raided his phone and found literally hundreds of photos he’d secretly taken of women around our neighborhood, many of whom were teenagers.

He did some jail time for all this, but was released pretty quickly. Because of his name and his apparent determination to continue being a fucking creep, I still see his exploits pop up in the news occasionally. Last I heard he was stalking women in a city about an hour and a half away from me.

For all the My Favorite Murder fans out there, FUCK POLITENESS

And creepy Taylor Swift, let’s never meet again

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