Hi, I’m new to this site and I’m not sure if this is allowed in the category… If so, feel free to remove it. Anyways, I am currently starting to fear for my coworker’s life. Here is the story.
My coworker, I will call her ‘Jane’, is 33 years old, a virgin, and a very devout Christian. Her family is very strict and very religious. I’m not bashing on the religion in any way, I was raised a Christian myself. These people though… They just seem to take their beliefs to a new extreme. Think of them as the Flanders from the Simpsons.
I mention that Jane is a virgin, because she has honestly never even had a boyfriend before. She’s been on a few dating websites as of late, but she’s usually very strict when it comes to the types of guys she would date. She can be kind of stuck up, which has gained her very little popularity.
She recently meets a guy on OKCupid (let’s call him Miguel). Miguel claims to live in a bigger city than ours, an hour away (we are in the middle of nowhere in Kansas) and that he is 35 years old, also claims to be a virgin, and takes an interest in Jane.
They chat for a while, and she’s very excited. Once they establish a fondness for eachother, he claims that he has a $250K in savings, and a job at Cessna that pays $65 an hour. He has a nice apartment and 2 cars, one of which is a ’69 Dodge Charger. (Sounds too good to be true, right? We all agree. Everyone, but her.)
They agree to meet for a first date, and he says he’ll drive down here to see her. While driving down here, he claims to get into an accident on the interstate and is left hospitalized. Jane is devastated, the rest of us (who she was telling this to) all just assume that he was lying to her and this was his way of getting out of the date and her finding out that he was scum. We didn’t think there’d be any more communcation afterwards. We were wrong.
They continued talking, and Shortly after getting out of ‘the hospital’, he claimed he was hit by a car crossing the street. His life apparently took a turn for the worst, as he claimed he was laid off from Cessna, his apartment was burglarized, and all of his money and his other car were seized by the IRS due to a misunderstanding in his taxes from a few years back. (Completely believeable stories, right?) Much to our dismay, Jane decides she doesn’t care about these things, and she is willing to continue talking to the man. He soon starts calling her daily and coming over once a week to visit her at work.
At this point, we get to meet this guy… And he comes off as your typical loser with a beer belly who lays around on the couch all day, yelling at his woman to bring him a beer. Despite all of the money he claims to have, he wears clothes that are way too big for him, usually sweatpants and flipflops. (This earned him the nickname ‘Flip flops’ amongst us at work) He has problems making eye contact with people when he talks to them, and has the creepiest smile… We know right away that he doesn’t seem very trustworthy.
3 weeks into their ‘relationship’, he shows up at our work and proposes to Jane. She gladly agrees, as we all shake our heads in disbelief. He tells us he got a new job working for Microsoft down in his city (we did our research, there is no Microsoft jobs over there. Unless you’re working in selling products at Best Buy…) And he tells her that he’s now seeing a therapist for his anger and jealousy issues. Many red flags are going off in our heads at this point, but Jane doesn’t seem to mind any of it. He moves down here to be with her, after claiming that his family disowned him for wanting to marry a Christian (he claims they’re all devote Catholics) and that’s the reason why she’ll never get to meet them.
As if this isn’t ridiculous and over the top enough, things start to get creepier from here… He tells us that he has a new job for $25 an hour as ‘the head engineer’ at Exide Manufacturing. (the head of HR at Exide is actually a relative of a friend of ours, so we asked her about this. They never heard of this man, and the position he claims he has doesn’t exist.) We try to tell Jane about it, but she brushes off all of our comments and claims that we are ‘thinking too much about it’ or we’re ‘just jealous!’ He starts picking her up and dropping her off from work every single day, as well as picking her up for all of her lunches. (she still believes he has a full time job and that he’s only doing this because of How Much he loves her) We start to feel that he’s just wanting to know where she is at all times…
He asks the maintenance man at our work (after their first meeting) to be the Best Man at his wedding. This doesn’t strike Jane as odd, because apparently Miguel is just untrusting of most people and has no friends of his own, they all ‘want him for his money’.’ Her parents loan him their spare van, so he can use that to drive from now on. To our shock, her parents are already buying baby clothes and supplies for the couple. They are completely won over by the man. I think they’re just blinded by the fact that their daughter finally has someone and will give them grandkids… Which is a really sad thought. By this point, we’ve noticed her personality growing slightly more stressed and depressed as time goes on…
Now, if you’ve read up to this point, you’re probably thinking “Oh, she’s just another dumb girl who picked up a sleezeball guy whose milking her for all she’s worth.” And you’re definitely not wrong. We all thought the same thing. Until she one day dropped this little bomb on us…
He has just recently told her that he used to be Spec Ops in the military, (the Air Force, to be exact) and they’ve decided that they want him to work for them again. They’ll pay him 75k for working 3 days/3 weeks/3 months (the story always changes, something she doesn’t find suspicious at all) testing military equipment that’s too dangerous and could be life threatening. He agrees to the work, and we all think he’s copping out of the relationship. She then tells us that if she wishes to remain in contact with him, they’ll have to get married as soon as possible and she’ll have to be prepared to move away with him. She explains that ‘the military’ has been calling her and making stops at their house to explain to her that she’ll have to marry him immediately, and she needs to be prepared to move to an undisclosed location at any given moment. From that location, she’ll not be allowed to make any contact with friends or family, since all that is going on is ‘top secret’ and she has to prove that she can be trusted.
Obviously, all of us are now alarmed. Everyone, but her. And her family. They are delighted that she’s with a military man and are proud that she gets to be a part of something much bigger. The rest of us (sane people) are trying to figure out what on earth he can be plotting. Is she going to be hijacked into human trafficking? Is he going to murder her? One of our coworkers has just called the Human Trafficking hotline, and they think that this definitely sounds like something they’ve seen before. Unfortunately, they can’t do anything about it until he actually makes a move and takes her. We’re looking into contacting our local police to see if there’s anything that can be done about this, before she gets the ‘phone call’ that tells her when they have to make their move. This is all so crazy, we don’t know what to expect, or just what danger she’s really in… Any thoughts would be appreciated, and thank you for reading.
The first time I met ‘Miguel’, it was on a freight day at work. (we all work in a retail store) Jane and the rest of her department had just finished their freight, and they were allowed to go home for the day. I grumbled as I worked in the department next to them, and had to finish my freight by myself. I work right nexto to the time clock, so I saw Jane clock out. About 10 minutes later, a guy shows up in sweatpants and flipflops. He smiles creepily at me as he wanders around her department. I continue putting up my freight. He walks up to me and hands me a Pepsi. “Can you give this to Jane, please?” “Oh, sorry dude, she just clocked out for the day.” “WHAT?!” His face dropped as he darted to the front door. I shrugged it off, and continued working. A few minutes later, he comes back, slightly flustered. “Her car is still out there. She’s still here!” I gave him a funny look, and stated that I saw her clock out. He stormed off again. A few more moments later, he returns, furious. “HER CAR IS OUT THERE! WHERE IS SHE?!” I was a bit alarmed. Jane is pretty obese, so I thought to myself it was probably taking her that long to get across the store. “DO I NEED TO GET A MANAGER ON YOU?! WHERE IS JANE?!” Fortunately for me, my boyfriend showed up at the time. (He expected me to get off at the same time as the rest of my coworkers, so he came in trying to find me) “Did you say Jane? I just saw her in the parking lot.” Flip-Flops stormed out as my bf and I gave eachtother ‘wtf’ looks.
The next morning, Miguel showed up at work and proposed to Jane in our stock room, as we were unpacking boxes. My bf laughed when I told him this, he wasn’t suprised that Jane was ‘dating that Neanderthal.’ Looking back on it now, I think that the fact that Jane could slip through this guy’s grasp and actually do something unnoticed by him freaked him out. He didn’t have as much control as he wanted. That might have instigated his proposal, making him want to make sure he had complete control over her. Which is a terrifying thought.
Alright guys, boyyyy was this unexpected for me. As some of you in the comments have seen, I initially tried posting this over a month ago. It however kept getting caught in the Algorithm of a Bot in this forum, and was flagged and immediately taken down. No matter how many times I edited it, apparently it was a ‘Wall of Text.’ I finally got it approved a few days ago, and that’s why it’s up here for you to see now! As you can imagine, a LOT has happened over the past month, and that’s why I’m here now to let you all know just what has happened since. To those who want the short answer, she is fine now and the situation is nearly completely resolved. Long answer, keep reading.
To answer a few questions, I’ll start with: To those of you who guessed Wichita, KS… You are mostly correct! Wichita is the city where he’s from. Jeez, you guys are good…
“Why not hire a PI?” Well, quite frankly, I don’t have the kind of money for that. “Why don’t you and your coworkers all pitch in to get one?” Honestly… The majority of my coworkers really don’t like Jane. And that’s putting it nicely. I know this will sound cruel, but most of them were just counting down the days until they didn’t have to see her anymore. She’s always had this bad habit of rubbing people the wrong way. Is she a naive girl? Yes. Is she stupid? ….Also yes. Ever since I’ve met her, she’s always insisted on being the first to give relationship advice (to me and many others) despite having no experience of her own. She’s actually the first to throw in her opinion and ‘give advice’ on most subjects, usually on stuff that she only THINKS she knows everything about. She comes off as a Know-It-All, and is very arrogant. Having done missionary trips in Africa before, she assumes she’s seen the worst of humanity, and she’s more than knowledgeable of the evil of the world. She also likes to butt into the business of everyone, whether she’s welcome or not. A few coworkers have tried setting her up on dates before, and when she comes back from them, she is usually furious and gives a lecture on ‘How DARE you think he was good enough for me!’
I would also like to state that this is not the direct result of her Faith and religion, so you guys can stop throwing that as an excuse. It does play a part of it, but most of it is the fault of her own personality, I would say. I’m a Christian also, I was also raised a very sheltered life. (I was homeschooled all througout high school, and everyone I knew was from our church) I didn’t have my first date until I was 20, and he became my first boyfriend. (He’s an agnostic metal-head, and my parents insisted he go to church with us before he could be ‘approved’. He showed up in Tripp pants, spikes and studs, and a shirt that boldy read ‘FUCK.’ He was nothing but kind to the congregation, and they had to have a type of intervention with me the next day to make us break up. We are still together to this day, and our 7 year anniversary is this Halloween) I’m very capable of making my own decisions, and my number one rule is to Not be an Asshole. If my religion calls me to be an asshole, I tell it to fuck off. I never try to force it on anyone, my beliefs are for me and me alone. I understand common sense and reasoning, and though I’ve been through hardships, my life is pretty decent. So no, I will not take Jane’s religion or sheltered life as an excuse for her ignorance and lack of common sense. (sorry for talking about me, I was just trying to prove a point)
Now, with these bits of info, I will continue onto the story.
Around the same time this story was originally posted (I think the same weekend) it turns out that Jane and Miguel had had a secret wedding ceremony at her church, and were now married. (yes, there was a certificate and everything, full blown legally binding marriage) None of his friends or family was present, only Jane’s family and their Pastor. She hid it from the rest of us for about a week. During these days of us being in the dark, we noticed a lot of mood shifts with her. One day, she would come in beaming and happy, the world was pefect for her. The next day, we could see the stress and tell something was wrong. A few of us also noted at this same time that both Jane’s and Miguel’s Facebook accounts had been deleted. (he had a recently made account, no pictures of him, just pictures of ‘his’ nice cars. He rarely used it, and all of his ‘family’ on the account looked nothing like him. Some of you noticed in the comments that I’d mentioned him being blonde-ish haired, blue eyed, and light though-dirty-looking-skin. He claims he’s ‘Spanish’, but all of his family was very distinctly Mexican looking.) We were afraid that he wasn’t wanting her (usual overly- talkative self) to give too much info about their situation, movements, and whereabouts when he kidnapped her.
She confided in a coworker that he had a lot of outbursts, and though he hadn’t been violent, he had suddenly become a different person. We tried warning her that he was dangerous, but she assured us that he was just ‘insecure’ from having been cheated on in so many past relationships, and that it was nothing. It was sad to say she was definitely in an abusive relationship. The saddest part is seeing a situation like this, and knowing that they can only help themselves at this point, when they refuse to listen to everyone else.
Jane also had a pet cat that she’s had for nearly 8 years to this point. Miguel was always getting angry at the cat, accusing Jane of loving it more than him, etc. Her cat likes to paw at it’s food bowl when you pour food into it, and one day as he was trying to feed it, she playfully pawed. He went into a rage, stating that the cat was trying to attack him, and as punishment, it should go without food. For days when Jane would come home from work, she would notice her cat getting more depressed and it would cry a lot more. He would assure Jane that ‘the cat is fine, I’ve fed it twice today, don’t feed it or it’ll get fat!’ …He was trying to starve and was probably abusing her poor cat, and she didn’t see this as a sign to leave the asshole?!
Shortly after these incidents, Jane wound up incredibly sick and had to get rushed to the ER. She had a high fever, but that is the extent that she told us at work. She didn’t return for 3 days. We were terrified that he had tried to poison her, or something, to get rid of her. She didn’t find it strange at all that he wasn’t at work for the days she was sick at home. It was this time that word made it to our work that they had been married.
She came back to work, seemed to be fine. Around this time, Miguel got a ‘phone call from the Military’, stating that he had to report to Fort Scott for Top Secret Weapons Testing, and shortly after this, they would have to prepare for their big move. (I dare you to look up Fort Scott, KS and see if that seems like the kind of place that would do SUPER DANGEROUS TOP SECRET MILITARY WEAPONS TESTING. I couldn’t begin to tell you how many lies he’s told that could be easily disproven by a simple Google search. She never questioned him about any of this.) Unfortunately for him, the Family Van of hers that he’d been driving had broken down on his way to the test site, and her father had to come bring him home. BY PURE LUCK, the ‘Military’ called afterwards, and told him that the equipment he was testing had exploded and killed a few men, so he was soooo lucky to have not turned up that day. They changed his plans, and his next TOP SECRET MISSION would be next April, and it would be then that he and Jane would get to move.
With this said, I would like to point out that I do get along with Jane, I do understand some of where she’s coming from, and I don’t blame the rest of my coworkers one bit for not liking her. A few of us still agree though, that as annoying as she can be, and despite how stupid she’s being… She still doesn’t deserve to be murdered or Trafficked or whatever would happen to her. So for those of us that cared, we were glad that we at least had until April to figure out what we could do.
To continue from here, I will explain that BEFORE they were married, Jane was surprisingly good at keeping to her beliefs. Miguel had to live with another man from Jane’s church, and not with her, so as to keep their marriage bed sacred and to not be tempted. (Miguel made it abundantly clear to Jane that he hated these arrangements, and would try to start fights whenever it was made clear he wasn’t going to get laid any time soon) A week or so after the Van broke down, a letter arrived at the house of the man Miguel had been staying with. It was inquiring about why he had missed the Court Date for giving away his parental rights back to his wife.
Fortunately this man from the church actually had common sense, so he met up with one of Jane’s sisters to discuss what to do. (Despite all of her family fully loving and supporting the couple, one of her sisters was actually hesistant and showed some doubts. There’s a sign of intelligent life after all!) Jane’s sister used this information to find Miguel’s wife on Facebook, and talk to her, while the Church Man ran a $30 background check on Miguel. ( a free background check had been run on him before, but nothing suspicious turned up) Suprisingly, this one also turned up nothing. He had to shall out $200 for a REAL background check, that safely showed how much of what Miguel had said about himself was complete bull.
Miguel had been married TWICE up to this point. He had 4 children with his first wife, and they both had given up custody of the kids, who were now living with Miguel’s parents. (the real reason that Jane was never going to meet his family.) He had 1 kid with his most recent wife, and they had just gotten divorced. Their divorce was finalized a few days before Miguel and Jane’s wedding. Sadly, this is all of the information that we coworkers were able to find out that turned up in the background check, no one has told us anything else.
Jane’s sister printed out copies of the marriage certificates, and they got the church together to show them to Jane. They were all able to convince her that Miguel was a lying dirt bag, and helped kick him out of the house. He denied all of it until he was hauled away to a psych ward for Suicide Watch that night. (he was released a few days later, after proving himself sane) Jane issued a No Contact order and has cut off all communication with him as she proceeds to get an anullment.
Jane was devastated for about a week, but she’st mostly over it now. (Gee, it’s almost as though she was only really in love with the thought of this man’s money and valor, and not him himself…) And the hardest part of the situation was dealing with the blow to her ego, knowing how stupid she had been. Sadly, this didn’t last very long as she now boldly tells everyone the tale of how strong she is for getting through all of this and how brave she was. She assures everyone that Miguel was a MASTER con artist, and he was able to fool EVERYONE. Her family and church back her up in all of these claims, seeing as they were all fooled too. To this day, I don’t think she really learned anything of value from this situation. Just that she likes having everyone pat her on the back and tell her how brave she is.
…I apologize for making you all lose your faith in humanity. I assure you, mine is now gone too. For anyone still claiming that this story is fake, I tell you one thing: I believe in STRONG female heroines. This story goes against everything I’ve ever held dear to my beliefs. I would never make this up, because I wouldn’t want people to think anyone was capable of being this dumb. I apologize to anyone who was hoping for a more ‘scary’ outcome, but… this is just how it all went down.
To try to answer (or not answer) a few more questions, I’ll just discuss a bit more on the subject.
The only thing that Jane and her church REALLY care about is that Miguel had lied about being married. To this day, I can’t find out what his plans were once they ‘disappeared’ in April. She is still holding no contact with him, and so I cannot find out this information. Jane’s just too distraught over the fact that he wasn’t the 35 year old virgin of her dreams to care about any danger she could have been in. So I’m unsure if it will ever be answered if this man is a Murderer or a Human Trafficker or whatever. All we know is that he is definitely a lazy bum, a deadbeat dad, and an abusive asshole. And stupid. Very, very stupid. We also believe that he genuinely believes all of his lies, since he was so insistent on all of them being true up until court time, as far as we can see. So definitely thinking some kind of mental problems in there… I haven’t heard of the Dirty John podcasts before, but I’ll definitely make time to listen! It does sound interesting… Maybe I can have her listen to, to see if she actually learns something from all of this.
Now purely for your amusement, I will compile a list of some of the lies he’s told her (that she believed wholeheartedly) that haven’t been mentioned.
He’s a black belt in MANY martial arts, which helped get him his Super High Ranks in the Military, etc. He offered to try teaching her karate once, but she hurt herself and the very start, and no attempts her made since.
He’s also a World Championship Gamer, Halo being his top game. (he said he is in many games, but I don’t remember the list she rattled on_) He’s won many competitions, and as a result he’s worked in the develpment in a few of the other Halo games and has many ties to Microsoft, hence why he’s gotten jobs there before so easily.
At one point, Jane did see in the mail from him a letter about owing Child Support. Upon questioning him, he assured her that he was a virgin, and had previously adopted the child of a former girlfriend of his. He loved the child dearly, and it needed a father figure.
We had a festival in town in the summer time, and he was offered over $200 a day to help set up for it. (other coworkers worked to help this festival. It was a volunteer event, and no one working at it had ever heard of the man) She came home one day and found him not working at the festival, he said he had to leave because he had gotten heat stroke. She rushed him to the ER, where they stayed for hours, because no matter how much they tried, no signs of heat stroke were found. She spent days nursing him back to health as he was bedridden.
I think it was the ’69 Dodge Charger he claimed that he had at the beginning of the story, that was involved in the ‘car accident’ he’d also had at the beginning. He had to make a sudden trip back home to Wichita one day, and said he was picking up the Charger from the impound lot. Jane was excited, she wanted to fix it up and couldn’t wait to show it off and drive it around. Later that same day, he called and said it was too damaged, so he had to scrap it for parts and the money had to go to the fee for holding it. Jane was crushed.
About a month later, when I saw him driving around in her family’s car, I mentioned that if he no longer had any vehicle of his own, the IRS would have to give him back one of his cars. Suddenly, it turned out that the Charger wasn’t scrapped at all! It was actually being redone in Jane’s favorite colors and was going to be a wedding gift to her! Oh, happy day!
Eventually, he actually got part time job at a factory in town (after lying for days about his ‘Exide’ job that didn’t exist) and told Jane that he was offered $45 an hour their as their ‘Head Engineer’, where he would be head of maintenance. Coincidentally, that position already belonged to the husband of another coworker. (hurray for small towns…) And he certainly doesn’t make $45 an hour. (closer to $20) She didn’t want to burst Jane’s bubble, so she was never confronted about it.
The 3 days she was sick from work started the same day he was starting his new job at this factory. When she asked him why he was home, he stated that ‘He went to work, and they told him that the didn’t have any of his contact information to tell him that he wasn’t starting that day. But, because this was all their fault, he was allowed to clock in and go home, so that he wasn’t losing any money.’
::EDIT:: AH! Upon talking to ‘Jane’ yesterday, she now fancies herself and expert in the early signs of an abusive relationship, and is wanting to write a book on the subject. “I think it’s a great Idea! There aren’t really any books out there on abusive relationships, and I would love to be the voice of it!” She says. Being a writer, I cringe at the very thought, but… If she does decide to go with these plans, I WILL PERSONALLY PUT A LINK UP TO IT FOR ALL OF YOU TO SEE JUST SO WE CAN LET JANE KNOW WHAT WE THINK OF THIS SITUATION. I apologize if I sound bitter… I might just be. More disgusted than bitter, but… meh.